You know what changed everything for me? Realizing that I was the one holding myself back, not life, not my past, not anyone else. Just me.
We love playing the victim. It’s comfortable there on the floor, waving that white flag, telling ourselves we’re too tired, too broken, too traumatized to get up. And you know what? Sometimes that’s valid. Trauma is real. Pain is real. The things that happened to you were not your fault.
But at some point, you need to ask yourself: how long are you going to let those people win?
The Comfortable Prison of Victim Mentality
A victim mentality is exactly what it sounds like: constantly blaming your misfortunes on someone else’s actions. It’s a defense mechanism, sure. But it’s also a prison you’re choosing to stay in.
You already know what would make your life better. Drink more water. Sleep earlier. Move your body. Get off your phone. Eat real food. Connect with people. You know this stuff. So why aren’t you doing it?
Because you’re telling yourself a story. “I can’t wake up early because I’m tired.” “I can’t exercise because I’m dealing with so much.” “I can’t start that project because I lost things before and I’m scared.”
Those might feel like reasons, but they’re actually excuses wrapped in trauma. And those tiny excuses? They’re keeping you exactly where you are.
When Healing Becomes Hiding
There’s a difference between healing from trauma and hiding behind it. You’re allowed to grieve what happened to you. You’re allowed to be angry. You’re allowed to take time to recover. But somewhere along that journey, you need to decide: am I healing or am I stuck?
Because if you’re still using what happened to you two years ago as the reason you can’t do basic things today, you’re not healing anymore. You’re practicing victimhood. Every morning you choose to stay in bed instead of getting up, you’re training yourself to be helpless. Every time you scroll instead of taking action, you’re reinforcing the belief that life happens to you, not for you.
And those patterns? They don’t just keep you stuck in bed. They keep you stuck in bad relationships, dead end situations, and endless loops of the same problems over and over again.
The Brutal Truth About Control
You have more control than you think. Not over what happened to you, but over what happens next. You control your next 24 hours. Maybe eight to ten of those hours belong to work, fine. But what about the rest? What are you doing with those hours?
You get to decide whether you spend them scrolling through other people’s lives or building your own. You get to decide whether you chase the snake asking “why did you bite me?” or whether you just move on and save yourself.
Abusers abuse. That’s what they do. They saw light in you and wanted to extinguish it because they’re small and jealous and weak. Don’t let them win by staying down. Don’t let their tiny, pathetic energy have power over you years later.
Success Isn’t an Accident
Nobody gets better by accident. Nobody builds a life they love by accident. People who rise from nothing wake up every single day and refuse to be victims of their circumstances. They look for ways to overcome challenges instead of reasons to stay comfortable in pain.
You know what’s wild? The more you practice victim mentality, the better you get at it. The more you focus on pain, the more pain you’ll find. You’ll get really, really good at seeking validation from others, at blaming external circumstances, at finding reasons why you can’t instead of ways that you can.
Your Next Move
So what are you going to do about it? Are you going to get to the end of your life and say “I was tired the whole time, that’s why I didn’t go after what I wanted”? Are you really going to let some tiny problem, some lingering hurt, some person who doesn’t even think about you anymore control your entire existence?
You’re not a victim anymore. You hold power. You hold grace. You hold complete control over your life. No thought, no feeling, no past experience is pulling the strings unless you hand them the controls.
Stop chasing the snake. Stop asking why. Stop making excuses that sound reasonable but keep you exactly where you are. Just get up. Do the thing. Drink the water. Take the walk. Start the project. Open up to people.
You might not have written your past, but you’re holding the pen for your future.
What you went through was real, but it doesn’t get to be your whole story. Get up. Keep going. The bad guys only win if you stay down.
If this post sparked a thought, shifted your mindset, or gave you something meaningful — don’t let it end here.
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